Mydr
by xxdeath.by.chocolatexx
Summary: //There is an unknown place that she reaches, and Petunia is never the same again.// Giftfic for LazyCatfish27


**A/N:** Well, I was trying out a different style of writing here, or more like a different style of beginning. What I did was write down a bunch of things that just popped into my head, like a wordblurt. Here is what I came up with:  
_beauty in the eye of the beholder; you'll be my queen; you are me and I am you; blessed art thou; rust; killing me softly; sort me out; do you believe in magic; cry for me; scent of lemon  
_Then, I began a story with the first one, and tried to incorporate all of the random things I came up with in the story. Here is the result, enjoy. The lyrics in the middle of the story are from the the song "Kids" by MGMT.

* * *

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, says Petunia, and she shyly retreats from the trio. He watches her go, then turns to Lily, excitedly relaying his escapades in the magic world to her bouncing red hair.

Petunia is jealous, but she will never admit it, and she only wants to talk to him alone. But he seems uninterested in her and her boring self, so she puts a lemon blossom in her hair and runs as fast as she can.

She feels her head and the flower is gone, but she sniffs her hand and it smells like lemon.

One day he catches up to her, and says, _I saw your letter_. She is angry, but he puts a hand on her shoulder and says _I just wanted to know if you had gotten in._

It begins.

* * *

She is infatuated, she is in love, she lusts after him, he is everything. She is him, and he is her, she wishes in her dreams it were true.

_Blessed art thou, Petunia, for having found him, the man of your dreams._ She convinces herself in her daze that he is everything she has ever wished for, and he never knows of her lust.

She wants him in a way she has never wanted anything before, and he is the forbidden fruit, he is killing her softly.

_Do you believe in magic, Petunia?_ Lily asks her, when they are alone. She replies no, scathingly, but thinks _what else could make me feel this way?_

She dreams of him telling her that he'll make her the queen of his magic world, or whatever it is he talks about, and crown her on a bed of roses and sing her to sleep at night.

She wants him to sort out her feelings by telling her his, and in him she sees herself. She sees his eyes shining, and his hands trembling with infatuation, with love, and she never realizes he is looking the other way.

His eyes make her see stars, they are like infinite black holes, sucking her into their depths with the sheer power of the universe reversing itself inside out, all in his eyes.

* * *

She is devastated when he leaves with Lily, on the train to their school that will teach them to do freakish things like turn people into frogs and who knows what else. She cries into her pillow every night until Christmas break, when both of them return.

He is worse dressed than ever, but his cheeks are flushed with excitement, and he seems to have filled out, perhaps he didn't eat enough before.

She asks Lily one night, _what do you think of Severus?_ Lily laughs, and replies _he's a strange one, isn't he?_

But Petunia does not see his gaunt, sallow face, his pallid skin, his limp hair. She sees only his eyes, his beautiful eyes, and she looks at herself in the mirror and knows she has changed.

* * *

_Control yourself_

_Take only what you need from it_

* * *

The day she realizes that it is not her in her eyes, but it is her sister, the pain feels like she has been stabbed, a knife in her gut, rusty blood is pouring out of her. She feels finished, she is dead, she cannot possibly have anything more to live for.

She was so close, so close, but it never could have been her. She was the one with large lips and protruding bones, and Lily was the one with a soft face and shining red hair. Of course he had chosen Lily, everyone chose Lily, because they were both freaks.

They had so much in common, going to that freak school of theirs, and one day she turns her pain into anger and finds herself a man who is just as angry as herself.

She knows somewhere that she deserves this, and so she marries him, and never leaves, even when his face becomes purple with his frustration and she just wants to see those black-hole eyes one more time.

* * *

**A/N: **This was a giftfic for LazyCatfish27. The prompt was Snape/Petunia, while they were still children. My writing technique for this is at the top of the story. You should try it out, it's pretty fun, actually. The title means "rhythm" in Welsh.

First two reviewers (not including the person who requested this fic) get to request stories!

.chocolate


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